hard to hold on to hope

It's really hard to hold on to hope when my own doctor isn't optimistic at all.  He says with the numbers being so low and the amount of blood, he would normally tell his patients to forget about this pregnancy.  However, those words bit him on the ass once, so he no longer says it.  I do appreciate his honesty though, even if it hurts.  I have paperwork for a repeat beta this afternoon and a script for progesterone.  Depending on if the numbers go up or down, depends on if I fill the script or not.  I also have a follow up with him on Monday.  I would have much rather not conceived at all than to go through this painful mind fuck.